Moan

Why does  getting better have to feel so bad?

I’ve been gluten free for three full days (this is early day four.) I’m detoxing. All those Christmas cookies and homemade dinner rolls, and BLT sandwiches I ate because it would be at least a year before I could have one again–all of that has left me full of sludge.

At least, that’s what it feels like.

I feel mucusy and heavy. It doesn’t help that (TMI alert…) my period is starting today. When I’m off gluten, this actually doesn’t bother me. That’s a minor miracle all by its own self. But when I’ve been eating gluten, and I have been, it’s like I’m being pulled inside out through my vagina. Yuck, right? Right. And always always, if I’m eating gluten, I can count on having flu symptoms for two days prior to my period starting.

So detox, flu symptoms (congestion, achiness, misery…) And to top it off, my stress level is through the roof, which is making me grind my teeth at night. So my whole jaw feels unhinged, my teeth, neck and ears hurt–and I’m asleep when it’s happening so it’s not like I can just stop it.

All the crap at work is causing the stress. The other girl in my office quit two weeks ago. She had her last day on Thursday last week. So today I’m taking over both of our jobs. She was a full-time employee (I was working 20 hours) and they want me to only add 12 hours to my schedule. So I get to do 60 hours of work in 32.

In fairness, she wasn’t really working 40. And I don’t want to work 40. But it’s going to take a lot of juggling and creative planning to get all of the work needed for my clients done in 32 hours.

Not to mention that the way the whole thing went down was the crappiest work experience I’ve ever had. If I didn’t feel an obligation to my clients–if there was anywhere else in town I could do my work–I’d have quit. But there isn’t, and I do, so here I am. Barely. Putting my nose to the grindstone, putting my heart into serving these people who need me, and trying so hard to just not worry about the parts I can’t control.

And I’m doing an okay job of it. Except the damn teeth grinding thing.

A few more days. In a f ew more days the benefits of a gluten-free diet (for me) will kick in. I’ll have energy. I’ll feel lighter. The bloating will be gone. It takes about a week for me to really finish the detox and feel better. I can already feel it some today. I woke up more refreshed than I have in weeks, despite being up too late dealing with a teeth-grinding related tooth ache.

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